This is my first night shift since i am back...

time simply juz drag on...

patients juz keep coming one by one...

super sianz...

and i had already send in 5 breathless child...
in like...
erm...
10 mins??

the I/C in obs 2 sure will skin me alive!!!

but wat to do!!!
patient wheezing and "chuan-ing"...
i oso LL rite...

i am going for my yoga class after my night shift...
think i really have to continue working hard...

i am juz so proud of myself for being able to shed so much weight within a short (but not really that short) period...

Good Job Andie!!!

anyway...
had been rather moody recently...

had been having so much relationship problems...
and looks like i am not the only one...

my close ones all seems to be suffering from it too...

haiz..

juz so sianz...

sometimes i really dun wanna share with them too much of my problem...
its not that i dun wanna talk abt it...
i am juz afraid that i'll be an extra burden to them...

having to handle their own crisis...
and worrying abt me at the same time...

thats why on the outside...
i always try to put on a smile...

trying to behave normally...
trying to act as if nothing is happening...
trying to act like a mad woman (which i usually do)...
and acting like i am not affected...

haiz...

but during those quiet times...
the wee hours in the night...
when u are juz lying alone in bed...
thinking abt wat's happening...
experience all that aching that u are juz dying to forget...

who is the one that witness all the tears??
who is the one who understands the pain??
who is the one who really know...
how much we are going thru...

to wait or to move on with life...
to let go or to hold on...
to forgive and forget??
or juz to say goodbye...
to take the risk and challenge the ourselves...
or to sit back and relax being in the comfort zone...
but hating every min of it as things remain unchanged...

these questions juz keep spinning in my head every single moment...

i juz dun know wat i want...

or maybe i am juz so tired and numb till i didnt want to go and think abt wat i want...
bcoz thinking is so tiring...

maybe its abit unfair that i didnt tell u wat are my expectations...
and wat are the things u should do...

but even i myself dont know wat i want...

i juz need to experience the feeling...

and i know once we u got it rite...
we will be back like last time...

but will u ever know wat to do??
i dun know...

i dun dare to think...
bcoz i am scared...

wat if u dont...
wat if we juz cant get it rite??

i guess this is really a tough test for us...

i hope we can pass...

i guess u're hold the key to it...

it all depends on u...

choices are urs...
and its so clear...
i juz hope u see it...

for the rest of my friends...

rest assured that we are gonna stand strong together...
my shoulders are always there for u...
no matter how bad situation may turn out to be...
i am always here...

No Matter Wat...