i am still on my terrible night shift!!

i didnt think that i am that jinx...
or at least before i left for my adv dip...
i wasnt really that suay...

hahaha....

but i think i am really getting from bad to worst...

why said so??

let me narrate the story again...

i am assigned as Practical Nurse 1 tonight...
together with another of my junior...

once start shift...
i already have one T&S (Toilet and Suture) under Conscious Sedation(Ketamine) waiting for me...

it was a forehead laceration...

initially i thought...
laceration forehead only wat..
need to conscious mehz???
juz do under LET gel nahz...

but after i saw the wound...
i understand why the doc chose to sedate the child..

apparently, the wound was on another scar...
which means the child sustain another laceration on his previous injured area.

thus, the present wound is jaggered and quite big too...
and some more the child is only 3 yrs old...
thus its really advisable to sedate the child to do the T&S...

so...
as usual...
i gave the Ketamine injection...
and the child went to "sleep"....
we proceed to stitch up the wounded...

but abt 5 mins later...
we suddenly realise why the child got such noisy breathing...
like machim got phlegm stuck in his throat lidat...
and indeed, he got alot of secretion...

alrite, we suction him...
try to maintain his airway...
his saturation was still oki...
97-98%...

however, the nosie was getting louder and louder...
and really sound like as if he's choking....

so i went to get my senior doc in and review the child....

she lift the child's shirt and i saw subcostal retractions and now he even got nasal flaring and all other signs and symptoms of respiratory distress and even facial and periorbital swelling lohz!!!

kaoz!!

alrite....

then my senior doc juz goes on and on...
ordering tonnes of emergency treatment for the child...

we set a I/V Plug to give all the e drugs...
I/M Adrenaline x2....
I/M Diphenhydramine...
I/V Hydrocort...
and even gave a total of 4 nebulizers man!!

the practical room was in a total mess!!!!!

seeing us running in and out to get drugs...

and i look like a crazy woman,
diluting the drugs...
doing drug calculations...
and giving injections like nobody's business....

i pity the child...
i dun know poke him how many times...
hahaha...

but no choice sia...
we are trying to save his life...

actually he developed a analphalatic reaction to the ketamine that we use to sedate him...

i mean its not the doc or nurses' fault as its the first time the child taking this kinda drugs...
so we wont know wat kinda allergy he has....

anyway...

in the end...
the child went High Dependence...

alrite...

then darling kao pei me...
(bcoz she was the overall In-Charge....hahaha....)

since she come to work in CE....
neber had she seen once patient develop allergic reactions to ketamine...
this is her first time!!!

then as usual...
she kao pei and ask wats wrong with me lohz!!!
izzit that i neber bathe!!!

hahahah...
i did oki!!!
maybe i should try flower water next time...

hahaha...

i mean as if i want lidat....

do conscious till patient go High D...
i oso dun want mahz...

lol...

then my subsequent Let Gel oso turn conscious bcoz the child was bloody fretful!!!

hahhahaha...

and i had practical one follow by another one till 3 am lohz!!!
and now i am on break...
but they are still doing one FB removal...

i am really suay sia!!!

so i tell them...

today all my Let Gel turn conscious...
then my conscious turn analphalatic reaction...
then go High D!!!

hahaha....

haiz...

juz the suay me nahz...

i have to admit nahz...

and this is not the first case...

that day i did practical with doris too...
oso under ketamine...
and in the end the child developed aspiration pnemonia...
then admited...

hahaaa....

not my fault either...

maybe its juz my suay-ness...
overcrowding me...

ohohohohohohoh....

but i love it...

it gets my adrenaline rushing!!!

or is there even such a thing??

i cant hide...

i cant deny...

that i still misses u so much...

every where i go,
everything i do...

reminds me of u...

i am not actually happy...
even though i try to look as if i am...

even my closest friend said that i look fine...

but it only shows how well i can conceal my sorrows...

u want me to lead my happy life...
but why izzit one thats without u??

i miss our old times...
i wish that i could turn back time...

wish that we could love each other again...

this time...

i surrender to my own weakness...
surrender to my love for u...

and admit that i still love you...

spend my whole night zenging my newly bought Sony Earpiece....

this is how it looks like before my magical touch...


then it bcum...

my damn chio and blinky personalised earpiece...


a wonderful pair with my blinky ipod...


done up my iPod bery bery long ago...
juz that didnt have time to take a nice shot of it...

of course...

i wont really spend the whole night juz on the miserable small earpiece...
i zeng-ed my newly bought shades too...

lol...

i really damn crazy over Blink Blink!!!!

from the front...
looks damn damn normal rite!!!

but it looks damn good on me!!!!


alrite...

Here It Comes....
Side-view...

Super Blink Blink~~!!!!



another view...


Gan Chio Rite!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ohohohohhoohohoh.....

alrite...

i still have tonnes of blinks left...

i'll see wat else i can do with it...

ohohohohoh...

WHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!

I AM SO HAPPY!!!!

Watching the number on the weighing scale getting smaller and smaller!!!!

buahahahahaha!!!!

so sianz!!!

its a good sat late night...
a wonderful sunday morning...

but i am fucking drinking alone at home!!!

BORED!!!!

Fucking Bored on my pitiful Restday!!!

DAMN!!

DAMN!!!

DAMN!!!!

jio-ed darling for a drink...
but she say she gonna go home and chat with her 'teddy'...

oki lohz...
shouldnt disturb her then!!!!

haiz...

who is FREE???

come come...

DRINK WITH ME!!!!!!

@nDiE 在一个人喝闷酒!!!!

Guess i need to learn from my past mistake...
and swear that i will not repeat it again...

was morning shift today...
and had already 约好 darling and tee yu to go 瞎拚!!!

hahaha...

as its PAY DAY!!!!!

HIP HIP HURRAY!!!

went to Vivo today as we wanna visit forever 21...
and the outlet in Vivo is really big lohz!!!!
so thought will have more choices there...

however, we didnt managed to get any stuff from there...
only teeyu managed to get 1 dress...
but it was freaking sweet lohz!!!

hahaha...

the wanna-be-贵妇!!!
shopping bags and trying out more clothing...
hahaha...


tried out this piece of dress in WareHouse...
it was really elegant...
and something that i dun have...
however,
its $255!!!!!
kaoz!!!!
i dun know why the hell is it so ex lohz!!!
even if i strike toto, i wont buy oso lohz!!!
(erm..if i really REALLY STRIKE ah...
maybe....only maybe...i will consider...hahaha)


then bought some MORE bra from La Senza...hahaha...
i know u guys will ask...
how many pair of breast i have!!!
need to buy so many bra or not!!!
but this kinda thing u need to change everyday one wat!!!
hahaha...
so the more the merrier!!!
some more they are juz so sweet lohz!!!
i bought 2 bra, but darling bought 3 bra and 2 cutie undies lohz!!!


super glam handbag...
*New Arrival from Aldo...
hahaha...
one look...
its simply too "andie" to resist!!!
totally my style!!!
hahahaa....


there will definitely be more retail therapy coming up...
hhahahaha...

Retail Therapy Part 2...

Coming Soon....

was chatting with 大姐the other day when we met up for our kick -boxing class...
was telling her how i was coping etc...

after all...there are alot of readjustment i gotta make...
but somehow i had adapt into my new life pretty smoothly...

maybe bcoz i am already used to spending most of my time alone...
so be it last time or now...
it doesnt really make much of a diff...

at least now i already got an answer for myself...
my heart no longer floats unsteadily anymore...
i juz need some time for my heart to heal...
and forget abt the past...

then she told me...
"ah geok ah...
nvm nahz..
maybe its time for u to change into a better piece of dress..."
(dress = boyfriend)

i looked at her puzzled...

"though it take some time for u to find another better piece of dress,
but u can go into different boutique,
try out all sorts of different types of dresses...
some may be too ex...
some may not be suitable...
some u know if u buy, u wont even touch it again...
but there is no harm trying out wat...
try no need money one wat!!
hahaha...

so juz njoy this process of finding a new perfect piece of dress...
try on them...
take nice nice pict...
make urself happy...
work out more...
go for facials...

so u will look even prettier...
have a total new look!!
and ppl will be impressed when they look at u!!!
find strength in this kinda situation,
and make urself even stronger!!"

hahaha...
wat a good illustration she gave me...

well...
its easier said than done...
but i will still strive towards it...

went to PS with tee yu today...
was shopping around cotton on for some cheap but nice clothes...
and we were juz dying to get ourselves some new undergarments...

hahaha..then head to Le Senza...
was thinking... i got a 20% discount for regular items...
so we can really shop there for some new bra...
but unfortunately...
nothing caught our eyes...
the bra there all look bery funny...
and not cute at all!!!

then we head to Marks and Spencer...
saw a many many nice nice bra there!!
so we took abt 15 pcs to try!!!

hahaha...yahz..woman are crazy!!

in the end,
i only bought 2 pcs...
tee yu bought nothing...
hahaha...

this is something like wat i bought...



dun see it like a normal bra hor!!!
its actually unpadded...
and its those lacy lacy see thru type!!!

hahahahha...

meaning can actually see ur...humph... u know...u know...

hahaha...

kinky rite...

and i bought 2 diff colour...

one in sweet candy pink...
another one is sexy seducing black..

of course...

cannot juz wear out and let ppl see nahz!!!
can only let ur love one see nahz!!!

though at the mean time...

i am still looking for 1...

ai yahz...anyway..dun wanna think abt the unhappy stuff now...

woman need to feel sexy from within!!!
then u can display ur charm and attract others wat!!!

hahaha..thats wat i told teeyu...

anyway, gonna go sleep now...

its morning shift tml...
dun wanna be late again...

though i am always late recently...
had been having sleepless nights...

but i had juz found a new way to "induce" sleep...

hahaha...

juz take syrup promet!!!!
its damn effective lohz!!!!

i juz took some...

gonna go zzZZzz....

going to shop with darling and teeyu tml!!!

yeahz!!!!

nothing is better than having ur Jie Mei(s) around u when u are in the darkest valley...

thankz girls!!!

so sianz...

my tummy is cramping again...

u know...

juz that few days that woman are made to suffer...

and i still have to work...

haiz...

today was a crazy day in CE...
the queue was always 26+ to 30+...
waiting time was constantly 2 hrs...
the observation area was crazy...
so was the resus area...

Doris was T1 and i was T2 today...
initally triage queue was oki...
so doris ask me go break first...
so i went with darling lohz...

then now CE is going thru a MAJOR RENOVATION!!!
then our tea room kanan split into 2 lohz!!!

kaoz!!!

one in annex, which was at the far end, near the entrance into CE...
the other one is the main tearoom which is next to the treatment area...
then the main tearoom was already bloody small as they cordon off alot of place...
even our LOCKERS were IN THE TEAROOM!!!

imagine ur locker in ur tea room!!!
imagine ppl eating while watching u go on and off shift...

haiz...then nvm...

if u wanna eat in annex, then u gotta heat up ur food in the main tearoom then bring over...
walking thru the main area...
letting all the patients know that u are going for break...
this juz doesnt make sense lohz...
haiz...
anyway...
sister tor say juz bite the bullet and go...
then go lohz....

so me and darling went to heat up the fried rice that darling's mom cooked...
then struggle our way thru the crowd into the annex tearoom...
as we were about to sit and tuck in...
we heard...

"Du..Du...
Doctor to resus room,
one RTA
(Road Traffic Accident)"

kaoz.....

juz super sianz lohz...
imagine u gonna start eating...
ur food so deliciously heated up infront of u...
yet u gonna leave to attend to that emergency case!!

kaoz!!

then nvm..we went out...
i went into resus to help out...
then suddenly came one case from Batam...

i mean the child looks oki if u juz eye ball him...
but when we put into resus and review him,
we realised that he got a distended abdo lohz!!

then in the end we were busy changing and stablising the I/V plug from Batam...
and inserting NG tube for him...
and imagine how much he will struggle...
u need at least 2 nurses to do that...

juz then when everyone was so occupied,
our Miss Wong Li Juan Ashley dash into the resus room...
showing us a referal in chinese to our senior doctor...
as if we understand wat is writen,
we say juz triage as per normal..
so turn out that the child looks so dry and sick that we must put him in resus oso lohz!!!

kaoz!!!
then that will be 3 resus cases on going at the same time!!!
the hypotensive RTA, the Batam Case, and the dry and pale looking child...

then there were so many complicated drips that the doctors ordered...
and the nurses gotta prepare so many stuff...
radiographer coming in and out taking trauma series in the resus room...
we shouting and shouting at each other...

finally when things are settling down...
we pushed the batam case and the pale looking child to the observation area...
but awhile later...
they push the pale looking child back again!!

this time they wanna set plug bcoz they said that the istat showed hypoglycemia...
then oki, we rechecked hypocount...
and in the end, the child turn out to be a DKA (Diabetic Ketone Acidosis)!!!!

kaoz!!!

so 2 doctors were busy finding veins, setting plug...
then nursing busy helping them out...
as for me...
i was busy preparing all the insulin infusion and potassium drip for this patient...
then there were so many confusion with our dear SSN HO till i really wanna strangle her!!!
she is handling the RTA case, but she keep coming over to our side and confuse us!!!
damn!!!!

juz then in the mids of all the confusion...
our dear Miss Wong Li Juan Ashley dash into the resus room AGAIN!!!
pressing a referal letter into our senior doctor's face and shouting at the top of her voice!!!

"this child got VSD/ASD ah...
(i cant catch wat it was nahz...its juz some cardiac problem she was talking abt....)
but saturation outside only 91% to 93% only lehz!!!
how ah??
wanna send in as resus??"

juz then i heard darling storming in...
also shouting at the top of her voice...
"now its 97-98% liao nahz!!!!"

then she grabbed and pulled ashley out....

i thank God that darling did that...
infact she had saved her...
if not i would have throw watever i have on my hands into her face!!!
then i said...
"juz fucking hell shut her out of resus room can!!!"

Doctor Siti looked at me and pad my shoulder...
haiz...
she oso lan lan...
hahaha...

finally, after i sent the DKA case to HD,
and the RTA case went CT scan...

things seems to settle...
then me, darling and doris went break together...
hahaha...

after we are back from break...
everything seems oki...
i was happily triaging patients who come in for minor complaints like cough, running nose, fever...
simple cases...
thats why me and Doris managed to keep the triage queue short despite the constant flow of patients...

but as i was triaging this 5 months old baby...
i was happily playing with him...
juz then i saw Miss Ore carring a child and dash out of annex...
passed by me and doris and rush into the resus room....

wah kaoz!!!

we thought "oh fuck!! dun tell me collapse child!!"
then we rush into resus room...
and guess wat!!
its juz a baby with cardiac problem that desats till 80+%!!
wah kaoz!!!
lidat need to run or not!!!

thats when i really cannot tahan anymore!!
i juz shouted...
"wah lan eh huiting!!! u siao ah!!! desat only wat!! u need to run until lidat or not!!!
i wont die of busy-ness lehz...but u will juz die from a heart attack!!! all thankz to u lohz!! Siao!!!"

then i juz left the room and continue triaging my 5 month old baby and continue playing with him..
hahaha...
he juz too cute to resist!!!

lol...

i was thinking...
wow..its 2045hr liao...
yes!!!
gonna off work soon...
i juz press for the next queue no...

then came in this family...
the mummy carrying this big child....
even though she was not facing me...
but i can feel that she was damn 喘 (breathless) lohz!!!

and after i ausculate her lungs...
she was wheezing like hell lohz!!!
and her retractions were really bad!!!
took her saturation on room air and its only MAX 80%!!!
then it slowly drop to 70+%...

i immediately bring her into resus room and rechecked her saturation again as she dun look that blue to me...
but indeed...
she is still 70+% only lohz!!
kaoz...

so called for doctor...
all my SSN came in and help me...
the momment they saw the child..
we juz automatically prepare plug, I/V Hydrocort, ventolin nebulizer etc...
bcoz she was wheezing so badly!!!

then the doc came and even ordered I/V aminophylline!!!
the patient was really bad...
in the end we tubed her...
and its the first time me being the Airway Nurse!!!!
think i still oki nahz...
not really that bad nahz...
i hope i am not...
hahaha...

anyway, darling said i am super jinx lohz...
nonstop resus...
then somemore all come at same time!!
then even a breathless child (which are cases that we see day in day out) oso turn out so bad till we gotta tube her!!!
hahahah...
maybe bcoz me and doris combine power...

hahaha...
so Doris...better careful with ur assignment next time!!
see u still dare to put me and u together or not...
hahahaha...

OMG!!!

i dun believe myself!!!!

i slept at 5 am this morning...

and guess wat!!!

my hospital NM (Nursing Manager) msged me at 7am to wake me up to edit my research powerpoint slides!!!!

WTF!!!

when i refused to reply and acknowledge her,
she called me at 8 AM to ask me wake up and call her!!!!!!!!!!!!

WTFFFFFFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i mean at least have the consideration that i am sleeping and i am PM shift and i start work at 2pm oki!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

wah kaoz!!!
this is basic courtesy oki!!!
she dun even have any brain for this!!!!

this is it!!!!
i am NOT gonna embark on ANY research ANYMORE!!!!

FUCKING HELL!!!!!!!!!

now shiok lohz...
i no need to sleep anymore lohz!!!!

KNNBCCB!!!!!!

i am clearing up my hp sms inbox...
and i realised that i had 2039msgs...

screening thru them...
some are back dated to 2004...
his messages for me...
i kept them till now...

but think its time to juz delete them bahz...
looking at them isnt helping at all...
in fact it will juz make me feel worst...

haiz...

爱永远都是难题　失去分寸太容易　
谁都是凡人　不够小心翼翼
有时候忘了珍惜　伤害来的太无意　
有时爱太急　需要空间呼吸
争吵愈狠痛愈深刻　然后不断自责　
我们都忘了最初的快乐

拥抱越紧 痛愈深刻　
谁不会舍不得　
现在我给的或许并不是你要的

如果分离是唯一的解脱　最后的话我来说
如果永远你不必再难过　遗憾让我来过
就算过去的回忆太脆弱　
连未来也没有我　
爱着你　仍是我的执着

让你哭泣对不起　为了爱承受委屈　
说过的承诺　其实还没忘记
愈是在乎的关系　愈是相处不容易　
伤害了你　我也失去勇气

争吵愈狠痛愈深刻　然后不断自责　
我们都忘了最初的快乐
拥抱越紧 痛愈深刻　
谁不会舍不得　
现在我给的或许并不是你要的

如果分离是唯一的解脱　最后的话我来说
如果永远你不必再难过　
遗憾让我来过
就算过去的回忆太脆弱　
连未来也没有我　
爱着你　仍是我的执着

走到感情关键时候　却握不住你的手　
还能有什么藉口　让爱再回头
多少的爱说不出口　就让时间帮我说话　
我一个人拼命挣扎 总比两个人一起难过还好吧

如果分离是唯一的解脱　最后的话我来说
如果永远你不必再难过　
遗憾让我来过
就算过去的回忆太脆弱　
连未来也没有我　
爱着你　仍是我的执着
爱着你　唯一的解脱

听着这首歌,
我一直在哭泣...
但却有心无力...

我们真的要走到这一步?
为什么你还是看不清...

你说你还爱我,
却什么都不愿做...

真的要让这份爱,
这样死去?

为何我眼泪不停流...
心却慢慢停止跳动...

我到底还要痛多久...
才能放弃?

I will learn to stay strong...
I will learn to love myself more...
I will learn to be happy...
Even if it means being alone...

And...

I will learn to forget you...

Now I know how it really feels when ppl say "Fell From Height"...

fucking go to hell if u're juz act sick infront of me so that u could see the doctor earlier!!!

i give u the benefit of the doubt!!!

but u know the dirty truth!!!

juz wanna be seen earlier so u could go back and attend a watever shit party u are having!!!!

this is so unfair to other patients who are equally sick as compared to ya...

but still waiting patiently for their turn!!!

i pray that u are TRUELY well enough to go back!!!

DAMN!!!

I AM FURIOUS!!!

Andie wanna get her tongue pierced...

and her ankle tattooed...

alrite...

she's juz thinking...

today is my 2nd night...

can imagine how tired i am...

think i am getting more and more dark circles that i am dying to get rid of!!

haiz...

i will be in triage today with another SSN...

who neber fail to tell me.....

eh, i go toilet ah...
eh, i go inside for awhile ah...
eh, sister call me...
eh, i go see roster ah...
eh, i go take request book ah...
eh, i go drink water for awhile ah...
eh.. *i juz wanna go eat snake*!!!!
then disappear from work...

fuck off nahz!!!!!!!
simply couldnt stand her!!!

anyway,
gonna have tuna sandwich for supper with HT and mummy later...

we had mango prawn salad, my infamous egg mayo sandwich and chessy hotdogs for supper yest!!!
all of us had so much fun feasting together!!
lol...

then Dr. Benny still ask whether we on during his night or not...
so we can bring food and eat together again...
hahaha...
sorry..
we are off night liao...
paiseh...

see...
CE nurses are simply bery nice ppl to work with...
we are friendly..
we are crazy...
we love making new friends...
we love those who treat us well...
and neber fail to treat them well too!!

hahaha...

alrite...
gonna go buy dinner...
my mom wanna eat some yellow ginger rice!!!
???
dun know wat the hell it is...
but gonna go get for her...
and oso the tuna for tonight...
hahaha...

@nDiE is flying up into the sky...hope she wont fall too hard if she ever need to...

i shall blog abt wat happened that day when i was on pm shift and was assigned as OBS 2 incharge...

it was really peaceful at the start of my shift...
maybe i only have 1 or 2 patients for review post ventolin MDI...

as huiting and sherlyn were going off shift...
they put a curse on me...
"may ur obs 2 flood later!!"

I STARED at them!!

and true enough...

given my jinx...
that curse really came true...

they called for resus...
a dehydrated kid...

alrite...
i had to admit that the child was dry lahz...
with sunken eyes...
but he was still so fucking active and fretful!!
and kicking like hell!!!

then they only set plug in resus and the drip was put up in my obs 2 lohz...
i mean yahz.. its only putting up a drip...
but cant they put it in resus then send to obs 2 mehz!!!
kaoz!!!

and the kid was actually not suppose to be in obs 2 lohz!!!
she is afebrile one lohz!!!
but HER MAJESTY said that its a infectious GE case, so must go to obs 2!!

so oki fine...
BOSS already say liao...
wat else can a small fly like me comment??
lan lan accept the case nahz!!
even kah jah cannot understand why should the patient go obs 2...

anyway...
then his 5 month old brother was also seen for dehydration...
and he was SUPER DUPER DRY LOHZ!!!
even more worst than his elder brother who was seen in resus...

this baby had sunken frontenelle,
sunken eyes...
he was crying like HELL!!!!
but the amt of tears that comes out from both his eyes will only add up to MAX 1 drop!!!
when i check his oral mucosa...
it was dry like anything...

its should actually be a resus case!!!
but our dear SSN triage him as a cat 2!!!

kaoz!!!!

haiz...

anyway, we took a freaking long time to set his plug...
bcoz he was super dry....

finally we got in the line...
have to do istat,
set drip, take bld and all the shit documentation u gonna settle nahz...

then the 2 kid need to be admited into iso room...
and it was actually a discharge bed...
so gotta wait for the patient upstair to go then can clean up and accept my 2 cases...

however, the upstair patient decided that they wanna have their dinner first then go off!!!

kaoz!!!

u can imagine how HER MAJESTY will jump lohz!!!

then as the nurse I/C of these 2 cases,
its only fair to let her know of the tight bed situation...
thus, i went to her and guess wat...
she was giving me that du lan face and tu me...

"then wat u think u should do??
call the unit sister nahz!!"

WTF!!!

of course i know i should call the unit sister nahz!!
and kah jah was already doing it!!!
i am juz INFORMING U!!!!
if i didnt inform u,
wait u kao pei me again!!!
why got problem neber let u know!!!

BLOODY HELL!!!

i was super pissed lohz!!!

then nvm...

once we settle the bed...
and was preparing to send up the 2 kids...
the breathless case from resus arrived at my door step...

child was bery tachy...
and grunting...
we had to give neb again...
and was going to HD!!!

so u can imagine how occupied i was...

gonna settle the bed problem for that 2 dehydrated cases...
gonna prepare to send them up...
put them all on the wheelchair with the bloody I/V pumps and get ready all the shit documents...
have to give neb to the breathless child,
call for HD bed...
prepare to go HD...
and not forgetting all my usual breathless kid that flood my room!!!

i was breathless too...

but thank God..
kah jah, tee yu, danilo and haq was there to help me...

if not..i think the next to collapse on the floor would be me!!!

anyway...

after i am back...
everything seems to settle down...

i didnt dare to step into obs 2 anymore...
Gina was inside..
so i told her....
i am outside...anything then call me...

kaoz!!!!

i think i am still super jinx lohz...

maybe i should juz bathe with some flower water...

maybe that will help slightly...

hahahahaha....

gonna do my first night today...
and after this i am finally able to njoy a wkend off after 1 month of hard work...
was actually kinda looking forward...
but now...
i dun know...

was chatting with kev for the whole night...
from..erm... 2am to like close to 6am..
think this was the first time me and him ever talk for so damn long!!!
hahahaha...

was looking for someone to share my burden actually...
he was like counselling me...
after all he really had tonnes of experience in life...
after being a father of 4 kids...

was telling him wats going on...
how i was feeling etc...

i was confused abt wat i should do...
a part of me says that i am tired...
and i should juz let it go...

but yet another part of me still says that i miss him...
and i should strive on...

his friend said that if we gonna break off...
i will definitely be at the losing end...
i am angry at first...

thinking... how will i lose out...
i will probably be over it soon...
thou feeling upset is unavoidable...

then kev told me...
"yes, i agree with wat his friend said...
u will definitely be the one losing out...
u give him urself...
u give him ur time...
ur youth...
ur everything...
u had worked so hard...
and come so far...
all these is wat money cant buy...
u are the one who tolerating all these now...
if u let go now...
u will definitely be the one losing out..."

but then again...
wat if i chose to persist on...
and wat if i marry the wrong man...
wat if my decisions were wrong....
am i not gonna lose out even more next time??

i am juz so confused...
my mind in a total mess...

kev told me one word can simply sum up all the problems i am having...
its the root cause...

Insecurity...

i asked him why??

then he asked me me...

kev: Why did you love him?

andie:
he buys stuff that i like for me...
he paid for my yoga classes...
he bought a diamond ring for me...
he proposed to me...

kev: fuck lahz!!! not abt money nahz!!! i can oso proposed to anyone!!! so wat!!! wat do u like abt his character??

*i am stuck*

kev: when is the last time u njoy his company? when is the last time u feel happy being with him alone?

andie: probably abt a few months ago when we had a good chat in esplanade... but then subsequently, we started quarreling already... and the relationship was strain till now....

kev: when is the last time u guys compliment each other?

andie: i always say he shuai shuai de... but he hardly ever say i look good... he always say ur thighs are still big... ur breast are getting smaller... ur tummy still bulging... u are still pretty heavy...erm..u look quite slim in this dress...but still abit fat... u should exercise more...

kev: did u guys flirt with each other??

andie: i doubt he has that sense of humour to realise that i am flirting with him...

kev: wat do u want from him exactly??

andie: i juz need my man to pamper me... to love me... to cherish me... to constantly tell me that i am wanted by him...
but all the quarreling and shouting at each other...
it juz pushes me further and further away from him...
seems like i am not wanted...
seems like i am not cherished....

kev: yes...i agree... who wont wanna feel pampered?? i mean which woman dun want??
think u guys juz dun feel secure with each other... try to sit down and talk..and go back to the basic... like telling each other why u guys fall in love... wat u like abt him and wat he likes abt u??

andie: but i am tired kev... i am tired of trying... wat if it still goes back to square 1? wat if nothing gonna change... wat if history repeats itself?? i got totally no confident in us anymore... i am juz sick of trying...

kev: why not try for the last time... if it still cant work out... at least u wont regret next time after u let go... at least u know u did try...

haiz...

i really dun know...
wat he says keeps running thru my head...

should i really go for it?
or juz chose to forget abt it??

should i listen to my mind..
or my heart...

does anyone have an answer for me??

sometimes i juz hope that i can set an I/V line on myself...

and jab some potassium into me...

so that i could juz stop breathing...

my heart stops beating...

and be knock out from this world forever...

我们真的累了...

CE was juz super busy tonight...
as expected...
today is a sunday night somemore!!!
its only 9 something pm...
but the last queue no is already 305!!!

i am still stuck in triage today...
having super bad headache...
the pain seems to be radiating down to my left eye...
and i juz feel like closing my eyes and take a rest...
but seems like the crowd isnt allowing me to do this!!!

the waiting time was about 1hr 30 mins...
not as bad as this afternoon...
when it was abt 2 hrs plus close to 3 hrs...

i dun know why...
they juz simply love visiting us whenever they are free...
coming here for all the small problems like cough, flu, running nose!!!
when they can simply go to GPs!!!

there was a recent article on Straits Times: Packed Hospital ERs..
talking abt how all the non-emergency cases flood all the 6 major ED in Singapore!!!

kaoz!!!

this is damn bloody real lohz!!!

its oki if they juz simply come in with small problems...
but they always magnify their problems like until their child is like dying lidat liao!!

esp when they say:
"My child got HIGH fever!!!"
(emphasizing on the word HIGH!!!!)
but when u take the temp, its only like 38 something...

when the child is like so well,
running around like some...dun know wat!!!

super du lan lohz!!!

then they juz shout shout at us like some uncivilised barbarians lidat...
thinking wat!!
we are ur servant huh!!!

siao!!!

we oso human oki!!!
we oso juz doing our job!!!

doctors are seeing as fast as possible...
and nurses are providing treatment as good and timely as we can...

if u think ur child is so sick till u call urself a real emergency...
then we shall juz intubate him/her lohz!!!
(intubation is the placement of a flexible plastic tube into the trachea to protect the patient's airway and provide a means of mechanical ventilation. It is carry out when a patient is in critical condition and is unable to protect his/ her own airway.)

like that then the parents will be happy right??
then u can really call urself an emergency!!

hahahaha...

alrite...
enough of venting...

i am really tired...

tml is our dept's monthly drinking gathering again!!!

yeahz!!!

happy happy...

simply too excited...

gonna have a fun time with tonnes of ppl!!!

and will go crazy once again!!!

juz some random picts i took today...

damn sianz...

my work station...
i am station at the triage today...
super neat and tidy rite...


there wasnt any patient...

so...

i could juz cam whore abit rite!!
lol...


see cutie little patient...

nurse 姐姐 must oso act cute a little rite...
lol...


hubbie bought me a NEW Eeyore!!!

i call him...

睡觉的Eeyore!!!

bcoz he is dress in pajamas!!!

and its PINK some more!!!

cute!!!


MY HAPPY FAMILY!!!


alrite...

its time to get some rest...

night night...

wah kaoz!!

this parent will simply make me vomit bld lohz!!!

me: wat time did u last give him any paracetamol?

parent: no!! no!!! no paracetamol.. it was last week!!!

me: then did u give any medication today??

parent: yes yes!!! i give cough medicine, flu medicine, fever medicine (the list goes on) at 6am...

me: then is the fever medicine paracetamol?

parent: ah... yah yah...

me: then the last paracetamol was given juz now at 6am rite??!!

parent: NO!! NO!!! the paracetamol was given last week!!!!

*roll eyes*

this whole thingy repeat itself for at least another 3 times when i juz wanna double confirm with the parent regarding the last dose of paracetamol!!!

siao one lehz!!!

kaoz!!!

these ppl really can drives me crazy!!!

its 5:48 am now...

i am juz tired and sleepy...

i am pm shift today...
so as usual...
i slept in abit later...

went to work with the word "TIRED" written all over my face...

then was kanan pull to do one MCQ test by my Sister...

then got one question:
A 3 yrs old boy was brought into ur triage with a temperature of 39.5°C.
Other vitals were stable. Mummy given paracetamol 30 mins ago when the temperature was 40°C.
How would u categorise the patient?

a) Send in as a "9" case.
b) Order Ibrufen
c) order tepid sponging
d) i forget wats this answer liao...

anyway, i chose the answer C.
but the correct answer is A!!!!

i dun understand why would ppl wana send in as a '9' lohz!!!
i mean although child is running a fever,
yahz...
but already given paracetamol 30 mins ago wat!!
and obviously the meds is working!!
if not the fever would be going up instead of coming down lohz!!
anyway if u send in as a '9' case,
the Doctors will still only order tepid sponging for the child!!
bcoz paracet is juz given 30 mins ago..
not advisable to give brufen oso wat!!!
anyway, our triage "9"case guideline is any child <3yrs>39.5°C lehz!!!
not ≥ 39.5°C lehz!!!

kaoz!!!

and wats the diff from me ordering the tepid sponging!!
the most i will cat 2 the child and rest in obs 2 till consultation!!!
juz in case if u scare the child will fit!!!

siao one lehz!!!

now i know why our queue is always not moving...
and why all docs hate to see "9" cases!!!
bcoz some of it is this kinda rubish lohz!!!

and today kanan pissed by this stupid dr!!

he wanna do a procedure...
call TREPHINATION!!!

then me and ziying was like huh!!! wat the hell is TREPHINATION??!!

then he tell me...
"erm..juz to trephinate to release a haematoma on the nail lohz!!"

kaoz!!!

u make me sound like an idiot lohz!!!

oki!!!
i am sorry!!!
although i am juz back from my advance dip,
but i really didnt heard of that before lohz!!!

bascially its juz poking a small hole on the nail to release the haematoma underneath the nail!!!

thats it!!!!!!!!

need to give such a chim term or not!!

KI SIAO ONE LEHZ!!!

this doc is really fucking irritating!!!

i heard from ziying that he will even act cute lohz!!!

OMG!!

imagine a guy pulling his ears and say sorry (in a act cute tone of voice) to u!!!!

WAH LAN!!!

i will vomit bld!!!

anyway,
enough of venting...

i am tired...
tml is morning shift...

gonna wash up and sleep...

went walk walk around orchard today after yoga...

as usually...

got into Forever 21...

and bought this dress...


hahaha...

erm...

i know gracie sure will scold me...

bcoz its so similar to my Victoria Secret dress...

hahaha...

but that one too loose till i couldnt wear it anymore!!!

hahaha...

and now i finally can downgrade to wear "M" size liao!!!
instead of "L" size!!!

"L" is simply too loose for me now!!!

hahahahha!!!!

happy happy...

oso bought a new MAC eyeshadow in Carbon...


was looking for a really smoky look recently...
so decided to go for something really dark!!!

initially i asked the MAC makeup artist to try on some for me...
then she "gor" until almost half my eyelid is the black shadow lohz!!!

kaoz!!!

i look as if i kanan boxed on my right eye lidat lohz!!

then nvm..

she put so many highlight on my brow bone till like i machim wanna go "wayang" lidat!!!

really siao one lehz!!!

i think i can make up better than her man!!!

so this is wat i had achieved...
after mixing a few colours together...


Eyeshadow:
most bottom layer - MAC Carbon.
2nd layer (something to like define the socket) - MAC Soba.
3rd layer (highlight) - MAC Nylon.

eyeliner - Loral Superliner.

Eyelash - cheapo $1.90 Chamaleon lashes..
but it look damn nice rite!!


decided to blog abt all my barang barang in my makeup pouch...


hahaha...

yes..i carried them out almost everyday...

even gracie kao pei me!!
"u might as well bring one whole laggage bag full of ur make up lohz!!!"

hahaha!!!

oki..let me intro them one by one...

first and foremost...
my lovely eyeshadow collections!!!
(this is juz part of wat i have!! lol...
but this is wat i will bring out usually...)
mostly is MAC...
got one is Chanel and VS one...
oh..and oso one is Face Shop bake shadow...


next...

these are stuff that i can juz die if i didnt have them in my make up pouch!!

Falsie!!! and my Shu Uemura eyelash glue...
without them...
i really dun know how to continue making up...
hahahaha..
ops..and a small scissors to trim my falsie if it too long...


my Loreal SUPER LINER!!!
i really got totally no complain abt this liner!!!
its something that i will simply drop dead if its missing from my make up pouch!!!
i got some glitery eyeliner too from SASA...
its super blinky..and cheap too!!!
only $9.90!!!
who say good stuff must be ex!!!


next is my BodyShop Blender brush!!!
dun see this brush like normal normal lidat...
its NOT a slight bit NORMAL oki!!!
hahaha...
bcoz it can turn someone with super lousy makeup skill (i mean da jie)...
into a pretty chick who apply super CHIO eyeshadow!!
hahaha...
thats how powerful it is!!!


all girls' MUST HAVE!!!
MAC Blusher in SpringSheen...
this blusher is a orangy-pink tone with shimmer!!
and my dear BodyShop Retractable Blusher Brush...
its been with me for years...
but still as good as new...


next is my Anna(anni) Sui loose powder and my Super CHIO makeup mirror!!!
i can do without a chair, or a makeup table or watever!!
u can even dump me in one stupid corner for me to put on my makeup...
but without this mirror, i simply dun know how to apply my makeup sia!!!


Eyebags and dark circles??
No Worries!!!
u have this!!!

BodyShop Vit-E eye cream...
i swear to All Heaven and Earth that it works!!!
(that explains why the price soar from $16.90 to $26.90 oki!!!)


my secret to kissable lips...
plenty of lippies!!!


this makes u smell like a woman...
(i mean smell nice... not BO oki!!!)



the end product of all these...


a beautiful and pretty ME!!!