andie can neber be happier!!!

she had finally finished all her assignment!!!

from now till the end of her course,

its juz PLAY, PLAY, AND PLAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

she's gonna njoy life!!!

before she is brought back to HELL again!!!

hahahahaa...

today was a busy afternoon...

juz the same..standby after standby...

non-stop...

we had this 105yrs old auntie that was brought in by private ambulance...
according to the paramedic, the family send her to hospital for generalised weakness and lost of appetite for 2 days...
and on the way to TTSH ED, the patient collapsed in the ambulance..
and when she reach our side, the cardiac monitor shows asystole liao...
so we did our usual routine management...

Intubation...
CPR...
Cannulation...
Load fluids....
2 doses of Adrenaline...
and 1 dose of Atropine...

i was the one who initiated the CPR...
so when i did my first compression...
i heard a "crack" sound!!!
yes...
i broke her ribs..
and my 2nd compression,
i heard another 2 "crack" sound...
haiz..
but no choice...
bones or life??
we have to take the later one...

after abt 10 mins...
the cardiac monitor still shows a asystole rhythm with no pulses felt..
so the senior doctor decided to cease all resuscitation efforts..

afterall, there isn't much we could do for this lady liao...
and she is already 105 yrs old...
why put her thru all these suffering even if we successfully brought her back...

all the interventions that they do in the ICU...
its worst then any words can describe...

its pure LIVING HELL!!!

thats why i look up to ICU nurses...
not only that they are knowledgeable..(they have to be knowledgeable!!)
but they are able to tahan all these emotional stress when seeing patient going thru all the suffering...
haiz..i cant take it...

anyway, we stop bagging the patient...
disconnected the resuscitator from the ETT...
stop all the CPR...
removed the drips...
clean patient up...
tidy her clothing..
putting on the mortuary shroud...

then as we finish tidying all the stuff...
i was taking a last look at her...
telling her in my heart..

"auntie...u go in peace.."

juz then, i saw something that really shocked me!!!


i saw PULSATION over her carotid area!!!!


i thought my eyes was playing some tricks...
then i took a closer look!!!

YES!!!!!!!!!!

I SAW HER PULSE!!!!!!!!!

and i quickly asked my colleague to see!!!
and u dun need to even feel for the pulse!!
u can SEE it with ur eyes!!!!!!
its juz so strong lohz!!!
and the cardiac monitor shows a pulse of 86bpm!!
and she still manage to have a BP of 74/40 mmHg!!!!!!

wah kaoz!!!
then we immediately call for the medical officer to come in...
he was like shocked to hear that lohz!!!

we were like stop resuscitating her and packing the body for a good 10 to 15 mins liao!!
we even tied her legs together liao...
then after that she came back!!
first in my life i ever see this kinda thingy man!!

then the MO auscultate her carotid pulse and her lungs...
and she was actually BREATHING on her own!!!
despite us tubing her already and stop ventilating her liao lohz!!!

wah kaoz!!!

then we faster do an ECG and it shows a ventricular tachycardia (VT) rhythm...
however, we decided that this will not go on for long...
so the senior decided to have conservative management...
so we juz hook on the oxylog...
and monitor her lohz...
see whether she can sustain or not..

if she cant even sustain here in ED...
then i dun think she can make it in ICU lohz...

so in the end...
her rhythm returned to a flat line...
but that really took a LONG LONG LONG LONG time!!!

auntie was so strong...
maybe she had wishes that were yet to be fulfilled...
thats why she is holding on...
i dun know..

i walked to her side and talked to her...

i had help kimme to put on some make up...lol...

as she was going to this garden festival with her mom today ah!!

so she say she wanna nice nice go take pict...

hahaha...

so i applied falsie and some shadows for her...

her complexion was oki to start with...
so not much of a problem....

look at the before and after effect!!


hope she loves it!!!

today was really crazy...

i didnt get to sleep at all thru out the whole of yest night!!!
as i wasnt feeling well...
and i juz kept my eyes open thru out the night...
and went to work directly in the morning...


my eyes were super tired...
i dun know izzit bcoz i was tired...


i didnt have any appetite...


i had my usual colourless Yong Tou Fu... didnt realised that it was colourless until kim fong told me abt it... hahahaha...


see!!! compared to fasz's one... mine indeed was colourless...hahaha...


usually i will be able to finish everything...

but today... i simply cant... and felt like vomiting half way eating it...
i dun know why...

then so suay, i eat so little but was forced to work so hard!!!

we had a total of 5 standby from 930am till 1 pm!!!!

and its nonstop, back to back one!!!

one case haben finish.. then the VHF rings again!!!

super sianz...

but found myself much more calmer as compared to wat i was previously...

and i love that calmness...

it had help me to cool myself down...
and increased my performance...

thus by the end of the 5th standby, my hands were shaking already!!!

yes!!!

i am going hypoglycemia!!

then we quickly went to get MR Bean for tea...

and luckily got MR Bean... if not i already die liao...

lol...

then after work, i went to yoga...

and so heng, today i went for hotflow...

combination of HOT yoga + POWER yoga!!!

and i was like dying in the hot room already...

and after yoga...i am dying to come home and sleep...

its so cold!!!!!

had my dinner juz now...

but still...

no appetite...

haiz...

i was walking with hubbie thru THIS FASHION this evening... and we came across this brand of bra!!

EUREKA!!!!


sounds really like the company that he is working in now!!!
EUREKAHEDGE....


hahahaha...
maybe they are having a sideline...

i dun know...

maybe ask the boss...

hubbie said that he didnt have any homecooked food for the past 1 wk already...lol...

so as a bery sweet, cutie, understanding, kind and patient girlfriend... i decided to cook him a nice lunch this afternoon... lol...

i guess this was the 5th time that i cook..hahaha...
i am learning oki...
wanna be a good wife...lol...

so this is wat i cooked for him...

yummy pork chop...erm... looks boring... but its really nice... lol...


dun see this like one pile of dun know wat oki!!! its stir fried minced pork with egg!!
taste good oki!!!


overall, hubbie loved the lunch i cook for him...
hahaha...

bcoz i am not a good cook...
but at least i am trying isnt it??

i am learning...
learn to be his good wife...

andie had decided to walk out of the dark clouds...
into that wonderful sunshine..
to feel the warmth and love that ppl are giving her...

her family...
her loved ones...
her friends...
and those around her...

she thanks them very much for being with her...
thru this tough time...

From now on...
She will lead the life that she wants...

Not for anyone else...
But for herself...

She will find her own happiness...
The happiness that truly belongs to her...

went drinking with gracie and darling in Le Bar yest...

somehow... i have decided that other than drinking it..
i should juz make full use of the beer that we ordered...

thus i decided that i should "accidentally" topple and spill some of this into Gracie's Coach bag...


hahahahahahahaa...

and now her bag have a totally new scent...

yes..the smell of Carlsberg!!!!!!!hahaha...

juz like wat they always say in the ads...


of course it's the best... its beer and perfume in 1!!!!
hahaha...

erm... u guys must had realised that there is this person who call him/herself "DAVE"...
and is trying to attack me on my blog...

hahahahahaha...
seriously...
i dun know why is he so worked up...
if he wasnt the kaypo(s) that i am refering to in my previous entry abt spreading gossips...

erm..i hate gossips...
but i honor those who gossips and yet stand up and admit that u did gossip abt someone or something...
at least these ppl have the GUTS...

but unlike him...
why i say so??

firstly... i dun recall that i have a friend named DAVE!!!
and secondly, from this messages posted here...
it seems that he hated me quite abit..

hahaha...
which i am perfectly fine with it...
hahaha...
he juz made my day...

as in thru him...
i know that lotsa friends are concern and will stand up and speak for me...
its like many against one...

i am happy...
i am glad...
at least i know i am not alone...

and i am really thankzful to u guys...

so DAVE...
juz go ahead and call me a BITCH!!!

bcoz i am one!!!
i speak my mind and i dont hide behind any mask...

i am juz myself!!!
and i am njoying it!!!

anyway,
THANKZ DAVE!!!!!!!!

PS: i am not a BITCH!!!
I AM THE BITCH!!!!!!!!!

btw... its perfectly fine to have enemies...
it means that u had stand up against someone for something u treasure in this lifetime...

so its good to have enemies isnt it??
hahahahahha...

is especially supportive thru this period...
as she understands the difficulties i am going thru...
she wanna give me a home that is warm...
a place where i really belong...


she cook dishes that i like...
stopping nagging me abt how messy my room is...
and about all my dirty laundry...
she is juz giving her concern..
silently and unconditionally...
and i really thankz her for that...


its not easy for her to raise me up alone ...
i was juz a 12 years old girl back then...
having to cope with the cruel reality of losing her beloved husband, and the uncertainty of the future...
i am like an extra burden to her...
as i was literally "passed down" from my dad...


Daddy's last words:

"Take good care of Ah mei..."

he had his last breath and God took him to Heaven...


but she stay strong...
she is a strong woman...
a very strong one...


thou we didnt express much abt how we feel towards each other...
but i saw how sad she was when she knew wat i was going thru...


i cried...
she cried too...
that makes me break down further...


i thank God for this crisis...
it had knited our hearts closer together...
closer as mother and daugther...
and i am really grateful...


its only thru bad times...
u will know who's the one thats gonna stand by u thru that storm...
the person who is willing to withstand all these with u...


and i am sure...
my mum is definately one of them...

juz came back from my kick boxing class...

i am aching all over...

but at least it distract me from the pain that is somewhere else...

somewhere that is deep within me...

no painkiller or any physical maneuver can ease that pain...

its juz there...

till when??

i dun know...

as i was reading my past entries...

find it kinda funny...

one moment i am happy...

and i am extremely upset at the next moment...



life is juz like this...

wat i meant by not smooth sailing...

maybe bcoz i was up on the mountain top at this instance...

and down in the darkest valley the next...

but i guess...

i am trying to pick myself up...

learning to overcome that huge barrier in front of me....

before i could see that green pasture before my eyes...

but at the meantime...

i am learning to strive on...

i am juz praying...

HE will HEAL my heart and soul...

things are like settling down...

at least i hope it is...

but i am still feeling very tired...and drained...

its always busy in TTSH ED...

lots of standbys...

lots of collapsed cases...

lots of action...

and i am busy...

busy drowning myself in work...

so i will be numb to the world...

but once the clock strikes at 3PM...

all the thoughts that i am dying to push out of my brain starts to gash in again...

things that i am dying to forget and get over...

everyday is juz work and yoga for me...

every night when i reach home...

i am juz so tired and i juz collapsed on my bed...

i dun know is it i am juz too tired from attachment and working out...

or i am juz tired from feeling upset...

haiz...

this Blog is an online diary to me...

its a platform for me to express my joy...
to pen down my happiness...
and also a place that i spill all my sorrows and fear...

its a way that andie document her life...
so as she aged and look back...
she recalls her life...
her everyday life...

however, the LAST thing she wanted is to invite GOSSIPS...

something that she HATED MOST!!

something that almost DESTROY HER LIFE...

something that HAD DESTROYED HER CLOSE ONE'S LIFE!!!!!!!!


OUR TONGUE...
is lethal and poisonous...

its so toxic...
like pouring acid on ur heart...
it destroys and corrode ur mind...

its like a million arrows piercing thru you...
ripping a live human apart...

and all these comes from ur tongue...

if friends are truely concern...
call me personally...

if not... juz leave us alone...
ur efforts are greatly appreciated...

i thank GOD for my FAMILY and my CLOSE FRIENDS...

for they are the ones i can turn to in times of need...

for they are the light at the end of the darkest tunnel...


and i thank GOD for whatever that's happening now...

for HE had shown me the HEAVEN beyond the rainy storm...

IF ALL THIS IS A NIGHTMARE...


I HOPE I WILL BE ABLE TO WAKE UP EARLY...


HOW I WISH I COULD HOLD BACK MY TEARS ...


BUT THEY ARE STREAMING DOWN MY FACE LIKE RUNNING WATER...


HOW CAN I FIGHT THIS BATTLE ON MY OWN??


TODAY...


MY HEART BREAKS INTO PIECES...

HAPPY...

EXCITED...

and


BLESSED...

with a man that had always been by my side for the past 7 yrs...

i am Contented...

Life was neber harsh on me...
neither was it always smooth sailing...
but thru the ups and downs...
its him who stood by me...

before we begin...
he wanted to give me this love...
wanted me to experience it...
but i am scared...
i am hurt...
i kept my heart close...
and shut him out of my world...

its his perseverance...
that unlock this heart...

i always feels that he was the angel sent by my daddy from heaven to walk with me thru the rest of my life...

although daddy had left me already...
but i know...
this is the man that he had sent for me...
to take care of me...
to fill up that empty space in my heart...
and to give me all the LOVE that he didnt have a chance to give before he left for Heaven...

this feeling is juz so strong...
from the time i know him...
till now...
it has not changed...
and never will it change...

this man promised that he will always protect me...
he will cradle me in his wings...
keep me safe from harm...
he will take me to wonderful places...
and show me beautiful things in life that i have yet to see...

its his promises that melted my soul...

and now...

i gonna have the blessing from my daddy...and the ppl around me...
to walk with him hand in hand...
down the isles...
towards our future...

the future that's so bright ahead of us...

only one simple word to describe wat i am feeling now...

HAPPINESS...

i am juz super pissed off with 1 idiot in my yoga studio today...

some PRC idiot!!!

i mean i am not against PRCs...

but this particular bitch is really getting on my nerves!!!!!

its not the first time she is doing this oki!!!

she thinks that her F*CKING body is so "HOT"!!!

that why she have to walk around the whole toilet TOTALLY NAKED!!!!!!!

YES!!!!

NAKED!!!!!

NOT EVEN WITH UNDIES!!!

and of course, all those poor folks(including me) were forced to see her "black forest"!!!

like ma chiam its so nice lidat!!!

bloody hell!!!

then she was like apply some bloody cream on her body (on her breast, tummy and thigh etc) in front of the main mirror totally NAKED!!!!!! then apply like down there massaging her body...squeezing her tits together... like trying to make it come closer lidat!!!

come on nahz!! if ur tits wanna be away from each other like the north pole and south pole, not matter wat u do u cant bring them side to side nahz!!! please juz call a plastic surgeon for appt!!

then nvm... i do understand some ppl dun like to get dress up first before they had their make-up on bcoz they scare the make up might kanan their clothings... i mean i am one of this kind... but i will at least wrap a towel over me lohz!!!

BUT.... she is NONE OF THIS SORT!!!!!

she was TOTALLY NAKED even when she's putting on her make up!!!

tell me why do u need to be TOTALLY NAKED when u put on ur foundation, eyeshadow, eyeliner etc???

or maybe she is using those huge traditional chinese calligraphy pen (aka MAO BI) to draw her eyeliner izzit!!! then i will understand why she wanna be naked...

dun want the ink to drip all over her mahz!!!

BUT SHE IS NOT!!!!!

siao one lehz!!!

then down there cat walk until like machim her father own the whole bloody toilet lidat!!!

and thinking that her tits were juz so perfect!!!

cum'on nahz...i think my tits are even bigger than hers lohz!!! hahahaha...


super duper pissed with this kinda idiot!!!

i am juz so tempted to take a pict of her naked doing those ridiculous things man!!!

but later... i think its juz not worth getting into trouble for this kinda moron!!!

maybe the next time i will juz walk up to her and say...

today hubbie bery sweet...

come all the way to pass me my yoga stuff...lol...

then he wore the strip shirt that i bought for him!!!!!

oh..he simply look so "GORGEOUS"!!! hahaha...

not for he was inside his car and we were smacked right in the center of the pick up point in CGH and i am stuck in my bloody ugly uniform...

if not i sure drag him out and rape him STAT!!! hahaha....


alrite..i am juz kidding... hahaha...

but he really is shuai shuai de...*blush*... (^-^)...

hahaha...

finally fasz's colleague is back from Australia... and i am waiting for her to be back so i can purchase some perfume from her man... lol...think she got some "kang tao" with CK tangs ah... then she can get perfumes from there at a 20% off retail price... but thats not the only thing that attracts me... but its all the free gift that comes with the purchase...lol...

thou u can say oh luckily plaza might be cheaper lohz!!

yahz...i agree... but i oso believe that perfume do REALLY comes in GRADE...

and those selling in luckily plaza are really cheap.. but definitely cheap for some reasons...

i bought my Anna Sui - Flight of Fancy... from lucky plaza think last yr... its cheaper when compared to those departmental store... but guess wat... the perfume cant even last me for a whole day... think after half a day, the scent is gone liao!!!

see thats wat i mean... cheaper price for a reason...

anyway, i had long to get this perfume...

CK Euphoria Blossom...


its not a new scent... but i still love the smell... very womenly...lol...

and look at the amt of free sample that she gave me!!!!!! yes..think i can juz stop buying perfume for the next 1 yr liao... lol...


and she also gave me a free DKNY bag!!!


and there is a DKNY logo... not chiong one hor!!! hahaha... can use this bag for to put my yoga stuff liao...hahaha...


alrite...gonna wear my new scent tml!!!

lol...

this man had a "BITCH" in his crotch!!!!

hahahaha...


alrite...we are juz fooling around during our break time....

and YES...its the same magazine that i used...hahahaha...

hahahaha...

juz read gracie's blog entry abt her ridiculous dream....

wah lan eh!!! its really RIDICULOUS lohz!!!!

and in real life how could i be such a heartless nurse...

given my HELPFUL, GENTLE, PATIENT, LOVING, AND KIND-HEARTED nature...

how could i juz heck the poor man lidat......

hahahahha...

anyway, its really funny...

i simply cant stop laughing...hahaha...

went with hubbie yest to the home decor and reno fair held in expo...
there were so many different company offering interior design... and we really see until see stars man...hahaha...

the designs we saw were all not bad... and those ppl seems kinda professional too...
except this guy from the this company call Image Creative Design i guess...

wah kaoz!! he really talk rubbish lohz!!!

we showed him our house's floor plan... and he took out his pen and started drawing and writing on the floor plan...
and this was our conversation...

salesman A: so wat u guys want to put in ur living room? a TV console??
hubbie: yahz...definitely...
*sales man A busy writing down some stuff*
salesman A: erm..oki... what abt in the guest room? wat kinda design u looking at...
hubbie: we are not really sure yet... maybe u wanna give us an idea?
salesman A: sure no problem!! i will design it nicely so it will look like a guest room...
hubbie: ????...
salesman A: so u definitely need a wardrobe and a dressing table in ur masterbed room rite...oki...i will take note of that...
*he started scribbling again...*
hubbie: *_*!!...
salesman A: erm...study room will oso need a study table rite...
*he started scribbling again...*

there he goes... continue talking rubbish!!!

WAT THE HELL!!!!!!
obviously i need a TV console in the living room? ah bo wat?? put dressing table huh??

wat do u mean by u will design the guest room so it will look like a guest room!!! if u design liao then look like a toilet, might as well i design myself!!!

obviously u will need a wardrobe and a dressing table in the masterbed room nahz!! if not where to put our clothes!!! throw downstairs huh!!! or maybe u wanna suggest putting a washing machine inside!!! moron!!!!

and DUN PUT ANY STUDY TABLE IN MY STUDY ROOM!!!!!!PUT A COOKING STOVE AND OVEN THERE INSTEAD!!! SO I CAN COOK IN THE STUDY ROOM!!! siao one lehz!!! talk rubish!!! study room of course need study table nahz!!! if not put wat inside!!!!!!!

me and hubbie got so pissed of with that moron's unprofessional attitude!!! kaoz!!! neber see this kinda idiots before lohz!!!

hahahahhaahaha...

anyway, i was browsing thru the webby...looking for concepts for our new home...hahaha... thou its still kinda long way to go.... we still have to wait for like erm...3 yrs...hahaha...

but my mummy say its always good to plan ahead... hahahaha....
anyway, its good to have an idea of wat u want..isnt it??

hahaha...anyway... i am looking at those Simple, Contemporary and Classy kinda design... but yet..not really those bery Modern modern one nahz... hahaha...

Simple and Classy...

thats wat i am looking at...

and i really really LOVE Chandeliers so much!!!!
i will definitely have one in my living room and bed room!!! (regardless of wat hubbie will say or how difficult it is to clean it!!!)

i think our theme colour will like black, grey and white...lol... more to those simple and classy colours... and definitely we gonna have alot of lightings...hahaha... so the place will look bright mahz...hahaha...

an idea of how i want my living room to be...lol... spacious and simple..dun like those ling-ling-long-long kinda things... its oso nice to have some wall paper too...lol...


dinning area... love those black reflective surface... makes the whole place looks classy...
and i am thinking of putting those grey mirrors on some of the wall surface... so it will make the room look more spacious... but yet not so reflective like normal mirror...


and i juz remembered that our window in the living room will be juz those full length glass panel... lol...
so i will definaitely make a latch beside it...and maybe put some huge huge couch or those pillow and maybe a small table at the corner...so the both of us could juz sit there and njoy the view out of our home, or read some books... while sipping on some hot tea or coffee...relaxing ourselves.... hahaha...

another idea of the dinning area...hahaha... oso bery nice and classy...but minus all the ting-ting-tong-tong stuff on the table nahz.. i juz want simple kitchen utensils...hahaha.. but look at the chandelier...chio rite... hahahahahaha...


kitchen oso in simple and black theme... hahaha... think i can afford it nahz..since i dun really cook too... hahahahahah...


didnt manage to find any pict for the bedroom...none of it look close to wat i want it to be... hahahaha...

but i am DEFINITELY not going to have a bed frame...
those who know me knew that i dun like to sleep on bed with a bed frame...
dun ask me why...
i dun know..
maybe i scare that i will roll off the bed bahz...
hahaha...
but i feel more secured to sleep on the mattress directly the floor...

so no bed frame...even if i have... its definitely going to be a freaking low one... hahaha...
and a super nice chandelier directly on top of my bed... hahahaha...


oh..i juz love this kinda concept for my new home!!!

but all these needs money man!! and tonnes of them!!! hahaha...

so hubbie say...

"so u want our new home to be nice nice rite next time...
SO NO MORE SHOPPING and VS OKI!!!!!!!!"

alrite..no more shopping...

sianz...

yest was a tiring day... went for yoga in the afternoon as hubbie went back to camp for mobalisation... initially only going for 1 hr of hot yoga one... but after my hot yoga, hubbie juz reach camp only..so i decided to go for anotehr "Gentle-flow" class... i was already soak in my persiration liao after my hot yoga class... then i was thinking.. gentle flow should be oki bahz.. "GENTLE" wat!!! but i am super duper wrong!!!! then its a 2nd round of sweating lohz!!! kaoz...