its been days since we last talked...

i had been thinking...

and i hope u are too...

or maybe given ur level of understanding of me...

probably u wont even know where u were wrong...

i guess its only fair if i let u know how i feel...

lets start from the most recent event...

u were angry that finished a whole cup of 7-11 mashed potato...
and keep grumbling and complaining why i didnt leave some for u...
u even cursed me...
hoping that i'll have a stomachache after having the mashed potato...
then u will laugh at me, saying "woah!! hahaha..orr bi good!! luckily i didnt eat..."

alrite...
i had totally no idea that u wanna have it...
anyway, it sucks big time!!
bcoz it totally didnt solidify!!
its juz a mash of dun know wat...
i ate it bcoz i bought it...
thinking that it taste like shit, will u still wanna have it??
anyway, i am sad bcoz u want something bad to happen to me...
so as to prove that u are the lucky guy bcoz u didnt eat it..
is that wat u trying to tell me???

talking abt the prima deli pancake,
u didnt allow me to order and refused to pay for me bcoz i didnt let u have my mashed potato...

alrite...
i insisted...
and i ordered...
and subsequently,
joyce and hong hong oso wanted the pancake...
thus i ordered it again after my pancake was done...
but u juz keep grumbling..
saying why i always order stuff one by one...

hey!! cum'on!! as if i wanted it izzit!!!!
anyway, was wrong with juz waiting for another 5 mins!!!
since we are already late for our KTV session!!!
anyway, joyce they all were already inside!!!

then i wanted to try ur pancake,
but u refused to let me eat it...
oso bcoz i didnt let u have the mashed potato!!!

so wat abt the mashed potato that u are so du lan abt!!

oki..fine...
i got pissed off and didnt want to eat it anymore!!
but u insisted...
and forced the whole fucking peanut butter pancake towards my mouth!!!
and the filling almost got onto my face!!!

i guess, any gentleman wont do that alrite!!
and let me tell u, its so fucking irritating!!!

alrite...
then u said u know of a shorter way from amk This Fashion to the KBOX plaza...
and u insisted to take the short cut when i juz wanna go the normal way...
then u commented," why got ppl so stupid, got short cut still wanna walk the long way..."

hey!! cum'on nahz!!!
i am already pissed off with ur bloody actions before this!!!
and u still wanna make things difficult by posting a challenge to me!!
and indirectly telling me that i am an idiot!!!

so in the end we took a different route and u managed to reach 5 seconds before me...
so wats the big deal abt that 5 seconds!!!
wat are u trying to show me??
u are smarter??

then i gotta tell u, sorry, but u are not!!!
only idiots will wanna make this situation more tense by doing wat u have done!!!

then when u commented that u already give in to me by waking up early to accompany me to sing k...wat else i want!!!

but hey!!
its 11AM when we woke up oki!!!!
and the session starts at 1230PM!!!!!!!!!
its not like 7AM in the morning oki!!!!

thus, its my only reaction to say oki lohz...
since u so not song, then go back lohz..
then in the end,
u really so obediant...
and left...

if i knew that u were so obediant,
i would have ask u to go eat shit immediately!!
and i see whether u will go or not lohz!!!

and when i ask u to come back,
u only care abt paying ur share..
and still didnt think that its ur fault!!!

u juz wanna win!!!
ujuz care abt ur PRIDE!!!
u juz didnt bother abt us!!!

alrite fine...
and when u ask me to bring the keys out for u...
i felt that i shouldnt!!!
bcoz u had already put me in a difficult position...
how am i suppose to answer to my friends when u juz suddenly disappear!!
ur actions are juz so uncalled for and irresponsible!!!!
i felt ashamed of u...

alrite...2nd incident...
i remembered that i was drunk on a friday a couple of weeks ago...
probably u dun even remember this incident...

yes...
i admit that its my fault that i shouldnt get so drunk...
and u send me back home...
i juz got off the cab...
but i was so weak till i couldnt even stand straight...
i was squating down at the stairs...
i cant even walk up...
remembered wat u told me???

"u urself wanna get urself so drunk...
so juz stand up and walk up the stairs urself!!!"
and u juz continue grumbling and complaining...

so in the end...
i struggled up the stairs...
2 hands trying to hold onto the railing...
and push myself up...

and wat were u doing??

u were infront of me...
watching me struggling...
and didnt offer any help at all...

i guess anybody would have help me up the stairs...
no matter how angry or pissed they were with me...
let alone i am ur gf...
wat if i lost my balance and fall??
yes..then its my fault..
but its ur's too bcoz u didnt even bother to take care of me...
when i most needed u...

another incident was that we were suppose to go movie with gracie they all after dinner in yishun...
u were the one who wanted us to suggest programs after the dinner...
thus we say go for movie in orchard...
but in the end we went amk hub instead...

then while finding parking lot in amk..
u keep complaining that i didnt bother abt how tired u were..
(think u were in reservice back then..)
then say other ppl's gf always care for them but not me...
u were angry at me for SUGGESTING to go orchard...
but in actual fact, we went to amk instead...

let me tell u...
if i really dun bother,
i would have insisted on going orchard!!!
and we wont even come back to amk...
we went amk so it's nearer to my place..
so its easier for us to go home!!!
but u still insist that i am being unreasonable and insensitive!!

alrite...
this are juz few incidents that i wanna point out...
maybe some u dun even remember liao...

but it juz left a deep scar inside my heart...

maybe ppl will juz laugh when they read this...

why u all quarrel over such small issues like mashed potato and pancakes???

yes...

i dun know why...

and i dun know why u are simply so immatured and childish...

maybe i am too...

but at least i know wat is more impt to me...

u are more impt to me...
rather than that $1.30 7-11 mashed potato...

but obviously to u,
its the other way round...

i hope u read this...
i hope others around u read this...
so they can talk to u...
tell u wats wrong with u...

bcoz everytime i tell u that u should be more matured,
u would get defensive and shoot back at me...
telling me "then u bery matured lahz!!!"

i believe in 旁观者清...

i am tired of repeating myself...

Leaving u is one of my options now...
bcoz i dun wish things to worsen and complicate if we ever get married...
bcoz i dun know whether i can live with such a man for the rest of my life...

u can get angry...
u can get upset...
u can feel me being unfair...

but are u fair to me??
i am not a perfect girl...

but i think i had been working bery hard...
for you..
and for our future...

but all u know is to induldge in ur work...
and totally heck care abt us...

or maybe u did care...
but pardon me that i really cant feel it at all...

u are juz constantly trying to prove to the world that u are a wonderful and perfect man...
and any girl who is with u should be happy!!!

but look at me...
do i even look happy now??

alrite...thats all i gonna say...

anyway, i hope u dun act on impulse...
bcoz i know u always do...
consider wat u want..
then we'll see wat we gonna do...

at the mean time...
take care..